IJIME

What is sadder than 12- 15 year olds taking their own lives because of continuous bullying? The ministry of education reported an estimate of 124,898 cases, 60879 of which are in the primary schools. The remaining figures were reported cases from high school, special facilities and colleges.  Bullying has since become a social phenomenon in Japan; one might argue that the probability of being bullied in other countries is the same here in Japan. Wrong! The seriousness of bullying (Ijime) goes beyond what we westerners understand. Every single aspect of the Japanese society breeds bullying. Conformity is a norm within the Japanese society, being able to conform and be similar guarantees safety and acceptance. In this collectivist country people who are different are considered deviants therefore they are alienated.  The students who are different either in race, nationality, intellectually are stigmatized for reasons known only to the bullies. 

Foreigners sometimes leave because of the fact that their kids were bullied in public Japanese schools and because they can’t transfer their kids to the international schools, it’s just too expensive. Bullies target a lot of different kids but the common targets are:

·         Japanese kids who use to live overseas before returning to Japan

·         Japanese kids with one foreign parent

·         Foreign Kids (of any race )

·         Smart and hardworking kids and those with disability

Number one cause of death among the younger generation is Suicide as a result of ongoing bullying in schools. The difference between bullying (as we know it) and the Japanese version is the number of parties involved.  Group bullying or whole classroom bullying is common in primary schools. In which the whole classroom single out a particular kid to pick on mercilessly for the rest of his/her years in school.

From play ground bullying to cyber bullying

Bullying can no longer be contained in the play ground anymore. With all Japanese kids having access to cell phones with no supervision, they even go as far as sending violent texts to their victims. Threatening the bullied child that they are watching their every move and will do them harm if reported. For a child of 12years, what’s worse than fear? Even in their own homes they feel helpless, constantly watching their back in the shadow of their room.

My friend, whom I will call Ken, suffered in the hands of bullies for nearly a decade. He of Japanese parents who spent his early years travelling with his parents because his dad was a professor, he returned to Japan when he was 6years old and was enrolled into a Local Japanese school. Despite being fluent in Japanese, he was under constant teasing and even receives a few beatings when he tops the class in math.  He was too scared to return to school so he stayed home still they sent him threatening messages. The violent texting continued until the parents rang the school after he attempted suicide and failed.

This is just one  example of what bullied  kids had to put up with, not only do they suffer in fear at school but also at home through the little electronic device we  hand our children thinking it will keep them within our reach for safety purposes. Instead it became another medium perfect to carry out bullying.

What about social networks like face book and my space? We are all too familiar with the teenagers who committed suicide because of being bullied through these social networks. For some of us it’s the best way to connect (re-connect) with (old) friends, for others it became part of their ongoing nightmare.  These social networks have a wider audience thus the humiliation and social isolation is beyond control even if that students cease coming to school he/she is still within reach. Cyber bullying took this issue to a whole new level and proves more deadly than playground bullying. In one instance it even involved the mother of the bully, leading to the death of the victim.  

Suicidal as a result:

A few years ago within a period of one month 7 Japanese students took their own lives as a result of constant bullying.  A teacher hanged himself in the forest because he was criticized for his response to a bullying incident. His response was never made clear but his death along with the 7 students gain the attention this social phenomenon needs. The figures plummeted after that, but what is unknown is whether it really plunged or not. Just hidden, like most things in Japan? Evidence backing the notion that it didn’t reduce at all are there in plain sight. Children still committing suicide just this time the teachers zip up about it. The ministry of Education didn’t report any more incidents instead they try to reassure parents that it’s exactly what children do and they will look into it.

Traditionally, suicide is regarded as a responsible way to deal with a problem with no options.  Committing suicide seem normal and part of their everyday life. People jump in front of trains because they are depressed and have no other hope for life. But picture a 12 year old girl jumping off the building because she was tormented for being short. But aren’t all (well 90 percent) Japanese (Asian) women vertically deprived (short??). Or the 14 year old who hanged himself because the bullies in school were extorting money from him.  Nearly all bullying cases resulted in the death of the Victim, there are instances where the tormented child died at the hands of its bullies and where is the Justice in that?

Getting help:

Mr. Bumei Ibuki (Minister for Education) condemned the letters he received from children who were being bullied. His response was appalling, whether it be a cruel hoax or genuine plea for help, he told them to stop sending him these notes. Did he personally read them? Or his secretary did. These children did something that other children would normally do. Asking help from the only person they believe could put an end to their misery. These kids are in constant pain, fear, loneliness and may I add torture and extortion. There hope lies in the person who is suppose to deal with this problem. Yet he told them to stop.

For most kids they didn’t know that what they are experiencing is what we all know as bullying. I was being bullied for 6 years throughout primary school and I didn’t know that what I was experiencing is bullying. I was slapped a few times, got my uniform torn, books thrown out through the window and many more. I didn’t know at that time that I was being bullied, but I hated school still I couldn’t disappoint my father by skipping school. I pretended to be sick a few times but I can’t be sick for a month, not even a week.

 Others don’t even understand why they are being picked on.  I didn’t even understand why I was targeted, at first I thought it might have been because my mother is from a minority race, and then I thought it has something to do with my surname and so forth. The bullied children wouldn’t seek help and the by standers cannot help them either.  My friends always leave me whenever we spot one of the bullies; the difference in Japan is a bullied child doesn’t have friends at all.

Feel free to think otherwise but in the Japanese society there is a communication barrier between parents and children, teachers and students and most of the time between couples. Peep into any house hold and you will find are 4 strangers thrown together, the absent father working till late because he thinks he owes it to his children to bring in the extra money for their luxurious goods.

The absence of the parents alone makes it twice as hard to let them know about what is happening in the playground. In some cases the parents are too busy to help that they brush it off as something that kids do.  And how can you tell if your child is a victim of bullying if you are not around enough.

Reasons for bullying:

Again the theory that bullies were abused themselves at homes is not always the case in Japan. Some of the bullies come from what is considered a normal Japanese family. Seeing that conformity is highly desired in this society “normal” children pick on kids they consider deviants. Societal norms and values are solely responsible for this social phenomenon. 

Most of these bullies have no Idea that what they are doing is what we termed bullying, for some it’s an obligation to upholding social norms. Alienate the unique ones, those who stray from what is considered normal in Japanese society.

2 years ago a mother of a child who killed herself because she was bullied at school raised awareness in schools and through the media. She did something most parents rarely thought of, educating students and the public about bullying. She went to public schools and talk to students and some students came forward admitting that they didn’t realize the huge impact their actions have on the victims. They didn’t even know that what they are doing is considered bullying.

Sure there are cases where the bullies are being exposed to violence or bullying at home even neglect. Whatever their reasons might be, In Japanese society the number one reason for bullying is because they fear diversity and lack of awareness on this matter.

Or it could be the misinterpretation of achieving enlightenment in Zen Buddhism as some people put forward.

Bullying and the Law:

For a country with a high conviction rate, bullying is not a crime unless it is upon direct contact that leads to the death. 2 teenagers were sentenced to jail term after beating up a child as part of their bullying. Fair enough, but where is the justice for those who took their own lives? Where is the justice for the 14 year old whose only escape is from the rooftop? Where are her bullies?? They continue on to another victim, with a clear conscience of course, to them they did the society a favor; eliminate those who do not conform.

Eradicating bullying from the Japanese society is difficult, bullying is breed by every aspect of the culture and what is not functioning in this modern society.  Bullying doesn’t stop in high school but continues onto colleges and the work place.

Role of teachers:

Communication between students and teachers should be encouraged at all levels. The problem with most public schools is the absence of a guidance counselor. Someone whose role is to help students and hold their confidence.  Teachers should be more alert to this issue and make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated and carry heavy consequences.  Not only stopping at that but let parents know when such incident occurs or the potential of such occurring in the school.

Role of Parents:

For foreigners living in Japan, International schools are a nice but expensive option.  So if your child is in public schools always look for signs of bullying. Children might find it hard to talk to elders but they should never face this alone.  It doesn’t mean that all public schools are like that still. It is best not to ignore the slightest chance that your child might be bullied. Don’t wait till it hit home then you start worrying about it, a slight change in classes or playtime shuffle can affect this hierarchy in the play ground and leave your child susceptible to bullying. Just because your child escape bullying in the first year doesn’t mean it will remain like that forever. It’s your responsibility to make sure it doesn’t. And if it does, most teachers will respond with “will ask the other students and look into the matter”. Insist that they do, they are known to believe that it’s what kids do.

Parents should take the time to talk to their children about bullying. Most parents are too scared that their child might be singled out that from an early age they try to encourage play meets with the other children and mothers. For some it’s an expensive practice but they are too scared to forgo a play meet fearing that their kid will be singled out.  Their friends are handpicked by the mothers, thus some kids have no social skills at all. This could be the reason some Japanese only have 1 friend all throughout their life. Kids should be given as much opportunity as possible to make friends but their friends shouldn’t be handpicked instead a child needs to learn how to fit in, to make friends, to make its own way into a circle of people.

Bullying should be written off as part of culture, or as part of the complex senpai-Kohai  relation. And with the decreased number of reported case I believe bullying became more sinister than actually reduced.  The medium which bullying can be carried out is even more convenient than before, the audience is wider thus attractive and more satisfying to some sick minds.

Jarred:  This is not the only way out and I promise things will get better, you will find hope in your new friends, love all around you and when you look up. You will know you are not alone.