You both think you know each other, till you started living together. The last time I went home, I was a bit shock to see young couples moving in together before getting married. 10 years ago that would have gained headlines in the local newspaper and set tongues wagging all day. Back then couples only move in together before marriage because shes pregnant or something. Anyway, I was shocked but happy to see some social progress going on.
I moved in with my now husband, then boyfriend after a year of dating. Much of our decision was merely based on our finances, to curb our expenses we decided that the best thing to do was to move in together. In Tokyo it was best to live together in a bigger apartment and sharing the rent, than in a 2 square meter room alone. We also wanted to live together because we anticipated a busy hectic life ahead and the fact that we live an hour away by train from each other. Well we just decided to take another step forward in our lives, that's why.
After months of thinking this through I decided to just jump right in and see how things would work out. I'm very bad with house sharing or room sharing. I'm a messy but very private person, I have my little rituals that I do and I need my own space. After a week of sharing a house I would love to have my roommate take a trip or just disappear.
Sorry to burst your bubbles but there are things we were not told about living together. Like, men does this weird thing where if something is empty or out of date, they will still put it back into the fridge. My husbands cleaning skills is impeccable, however he cant just toss the empty wine bottle, coke bottle, syrup bottle or whatever-bottle into the garbage and I don't get it!. Good thing is he is Swiss and organizing our mess into no more mess is his biggest asset to our living together. I can say that I'm really lucky to have someone like him but there are days I wish he would just pick up the sponge and wash the dishes. We had so many arguments that starts with "Do you know where the bin is?" and him scolding me for not replacing the toilet paper. Ha! I know its typically men, not replacing the toilet paper but I do it too. These arguments always end up in laughter because its just ridiculous, though annoying. I cant really complain about cleanliness and all that because he is very decent when it comes to keeping the apartment clean.
Though I do mostly all the washing and cooking. I still believe that its not wise to separate house chores and to live life individually as much as possible. In the end our year living together proven that we were ready and willing to take the next step and get married. Not saying all our little habits disappear and living together became easier but we learn to maneuver our way around these annoying little flaws.
If you think about it, depending on characters, but living together does have its advantages. Then of-course, you have to be careful not to become couch potatoes and only socialize with each other and meet your friends through Facebook. I still normally club as much as I want to with my friends. We try to keep doing what we've been doing before moving in together. Its true that now we spend more time together than before, that's why its important that I get my Sunday-Cafe-time alone. Because it doesn't matter how much we love someone we have to live our own lives and spend some time apart. Once in a while he goes drinking with his buddies and I have the house all to myself to either exercise, play princess or sleep.
Living together is no fairy tale but now that we are married it would seem odd to live separately. Just bear in mind that moving in together doesn't necessarily mean that you will end up getting married. Statistically, divorce is prevalent among couples who move in together before marriage. Fear not! its only statistics a million things could be wrong with their data.
Then you have to be prepared to deal with his family and friends. They are now part of your life, you will have bossy relatives dropping in or messy annoying friends. I was lucky we were living in Tokyo at that time and all his friends there were pretty cool to begin with. After a party they always help clean up before leaving and they hardly drop in announced unless invited.
If you are thinking of moving in together this summer, be prepared for a lot of surprises. If the first few months are a bliss believe me it will come. Couples try harder and tend to ignore these annoying little habits the first few months because of this new feeling of living together.
To finish off, the thing I hate most about living together is that I don't have my own place to return to when we fight or when I'm trying to avoid a confrontation. The rest I let karma handle it :)
Sorry to burst your bubbles but there are things we were not told about living together. Like, men does this weird thing where if something is empty or out of date, they will still put it back into the fridge. My husbands cleaning skills is impeccable, however he cant just toss the empty wine bottle, coke bottle, syrup bottle or whatever-bottle into the garbage and I don't get it!. Good thing is he is Swiss and organizing our mess into no more mess is his biggest asset to our living together. I can say that I'm really lucky to have someone like him but there are days I wish he would just pick up the sponge and wash the dishes. We had so many arguments that starts with "Do you know where the bin is?" and him scolding me for not replacing the toilet paper. Ha! I know its typically men, not replacing the toilet paper but I do it too. These arguments always end up in laughter because its just ridiculous, though annoying. I cant really complain about cleanliness and all that because he is very decent when it comes to keeping the apartment clean.
Though I do mostly all the washing and cooking. I still believe that its not wise to separate house chores and to live life individually as much as possible. In the end our year living together proven that we were ready and willing to take the next step and get married. Not saying all our little habits disappear and living together became easier but we learn to maneuver our way around these annoying little flaws.
If you think about it, depending on characters, but living together does have its advantages. Then of-course, you have to be careful not to become couch potatoes and only socialize with each other and meet your friends through Facebook. I still normally club as much as I want to with my friends. We try to keep doing what we've been doing before moving in together. Its true that now we spend more time together than before, that's why its important that I get my Sunday-Cafe-time alone. Because it doesn't matter how much we love someone we have to live our own lives and spend some time apart. Once in a while he goes drinking with his buddies and I have the house all to myself to either exercise, play princess or sleep.
Living together is no fairy tale but now that we are married it would seem odd to live separately. Just bear in mind that moving in together doesn't necessarily mean that you will end up getting married. Statistically, divorce is prevalent among couples who move in together before marriage. Fear not! its only statistics a million things could be wrong with their data.
Then you have to be prepared to deal with his family and friends. They are now part of your life, you will have bossy relatives dropping in or messy annoying friends. I was lucky we were living in Tokyo at that time and all his friends there were pretty cool to begin with. After a party they always help clean up before leaving and they hardly drop in announced unless invited.
If you are thinking of moving in together this summer, be prepared for a lot of surprises. If the first few months are a bliss believe me it will come. Couples try harder and tend to ignore these annoying little habits the first few months because of this new feeling of living together.
To finish off, the thing I hate most about living together is that I don't have my own place to return to when we fight or when I'm trying to avoid a confrontation. The rest I let karma handle it :)
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