Last weekend a colleague and I decided to bar hop. It's my "gift" to her as she's here on a studying vacation. I had no clue where to take her so I decided on doing a Barathon. Funny thing was she kind of over exaggerated on how much liquor she can consume. Me, with my weak bladder and well love for alcohol I was ready to roll out.
We started off in a bar, I ordered a draft beer and she decided on red warm wine. I advised her that on an empty stomach it's not advisable to mix drinks and that she should stick to red wine.
Off we went to our second bar, she started drinking beer, then wine, then beer again. By our third bar she was outrageously flirting with the bar tenders.
I decided its time to hit the discotheque, that way she can dance away the alcohol.
No luck there either. The night ended pretty badly for the both of us. Some embarrassing moment which for the next two days I had to wear my shades and a cap till dark.
Anyway it gave me an idea on some famous life moments that we wish we could erase.
1. Finding out that after your extreme bikini wax that when your boyfriend said he was a fan of Brazilians, he meant the football team.
2. Reading about the latest giant Internet start-up and realizing the CEO is that nerd you turned down last summer.
3. That time you farted - loudly - during the meditation part of your yoga class. (And glared accusingly at the girl next to you)
4. Discovering that the film you just returned was not The Iron Lady starring Meryl Streep, but rather the homemade Naughty Lady.
5. Complaining about your bitchy boss in the toilets, and then recognizing her shoes underneath the cubicle door.
6. Turning down that online job ten years ago because you needed more security, and suggesting your roommate apply instead. Today, she's about to secure her first million.
7. Telling your best friend you never liked her ex, only to have her tell you they're back together. And engaged.
8. Contemplating selling your hair, non-essential organs, platelets and eggs to boost your bank account and finally buy a Birkin bag.
9. Reading the winning lottery numbers, you noticed you're a winner and email you horrible boss, describing exactly what you think of him - only to realize you're looking at last weeks ticket.
10. Waking up with no memory of your girls night out - then learning all about it on your Facebook wall.
11. Buying a deeply discounted designer bag online and realizing you really got what you pay for. Now that your stuck with a genuine Pravda instead of a Prada.
12. Choosing a private area for getting a tattoo of your boyfriends name. You didn't know he'd dump you a week later
13. Trying to impress your date by picking up the tab, only to have your card declined, and a sum of total zero cash in your wallet.
14. Demolishing the sushi buffet before spending the night at your new boyfriends. Diarrhea and thin walls do not a second date make.
15. Having your parents in-law pop by the same afternoon you decided to act out the scenes from Fifty Shades Of Grey. It's hard to say "Hi" with a ball gag in your mouth.
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